Ever had your heart start pounding before public speaking? Butterflies, sweaty palms, anxiety? Everyone experiences fear of public speaking at some point. It may or may not be cognitive – you might not be having fearful thoughts – but your body can suddenly react with a host of uncomfortable or miserable symptoms. I even heard a statistic recently that many people are more afraid of public speaking than they are of dying!
I still occasionally experience public speaking nerves. I started acting when I was fourteen, I’ve been teaching and facilitating for 18 years, and yet even with all that experience, every once in a while, my heart races, my palms get sweaty, and I feel nervous before a crowd. It’s usually when I’m teaching something completely new to a crowd I know very little about.
Today, I want to share with you my five most helpful tips for overcoming public speaking anxiety. Countless clients and students have used these tried-and-true practices, and I use them regularly.
Before we get started, please don’t make yourself wrong about having public speaking anxiety or think that you should be better than this. That just makes it worse. Our brains are wired to need approval from the tribe. If the amygdala gets any signal that you might not get approval and thus you won’t be safe, it will send an alarm to the rest of the body and trigger a stress response. That’s not your fault. It’s just being human.
That said, most of my clients and students aren’t speaking in front of audiences that are ready with their pitchforks. Most audiences need or want to hear your content. So, these five practices help you to calm the stress response, and in some cases, prevent the amygdala from getting activated at all. BTW, you can forget imagining your audience naked because, frankly, it usually doesn’t work!
1. Move Your Body.
As an actor, I learned to prep for every audition, rehearsal, and performance with movement. It can be hugely beneficial to stretch, shake things out, go for a walk, etc., before you give a talk/presentation.
- It helps you ground and connect to your body.
- It helps you get out some of that nervous energy.
- It helps you better use your body as a communication tool.
Body language is one of the three components of communication. When you are connected and grounded to your body, your body language is clearer, too.
2. Breathe!
I’m sure you’ve heard this one. There are different breathing techniques you can try, and simply mindfully breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth might be all you need. Here are a couple of others you can try: Breathe in for three, hold for three, breathe out for three. Or use square breathing: In for four, hold for four, out for four, hold for four.
But sometimes movement and breathing aren’t enough, and so here’s one of my favorite approaches to nerves:
3. Connect to Your Purpose and Role.
One of the reasons people get nervous is because they think they are going to be judged for speaking. But this isn’t speech class in grade school where a bunch of insecure kids are looking for any weakness to betray! As I said above, most people genuinely want to connect to your content. So remind yourself why you’re doing this. What’s your purpose and mission in this presentation?
Then think about your role in this presentation. Are you educating your audience in some way? Or is your purpose to advocate? Maybe it’s to motivate, inspire, or something else.
Connect to and focus on your bigger why and role, and that can distract your mind from the fear of judgment. In other words, make it less about you and more about your purpose. When you orient to a higher purpose, it can put your insecurity and fears at ease.
4. Build a Relationship With Your Audience.
If you think of your audience as strangers who will judge you, then:
- Your amygdala will trigger a stress response
- You will feel disconnected from your body and your audience
- Your delivery will be less compelling
- Your audience will connect less with you and your content.
In the opposite reality, if you think of your audience as other humans who are a) like you, b) are there for a reason, and c) are curious to hear what you have to say, then:
- You can get curious about what they want to learn
- You can empathize with them
- You will build content that connects with them more
- You will build a rapport with them
- They will listen better and receive your content more
- You will feel heard, seen, and successful!
In other words, make it less about you and fear; make it more about connecting with them and caring for them. When I am teaching, presenting, or telling stories, I genuinely want to support my audiences to learn, grow, engage with each other, tackle challenging problems, or whatever purpose we have for coming together. That sincere desire makes me care about them, and that helps me transcend any anxiety I might have.
Here are a few tools you can try to connect with your audience, as appropriate:
- Lead with empathy. Example: “Thank you all for being here – I know you are all very busy and it’s hard to take the time to stop to do these kinds of events.”
- Lead with questions and discussion. Examples: “What do you want to learn today?” or “What’s the most rewarding part of your job?”
- Ask for a show of hands. Example: “Raise your hand if you would like to prepare better presentations.”
Any kind of connective exercises can break an invisible barrier of “me vs them,” and it can help you begin to build a rapport with the audience. It helps remind the amygdala that they aren’t threats; they are people just like you who are in the audience for a reason.
Remember to use the Three Golden Questions to better understand your audience and get clear about what you want them to take away.
5. Rehearse, Rehearse, Rehearse!
Here’s why rehearsing helps your nerves:
- It helps your brain get comfortable with the content and eliminates the anxiety of forgetting or missing something.
- If you are worried less about getting the content right, then you are free to connect with your purpose and your audience more.
- Your whole story or presentation will feel more impactful, connected, and alive for you. That can further calm your nerves and give you the bonus of coming off as more relaxed and authentic.
I recently heard a statistic that to be 100% comfortable with our content and to fully memorize it, we need to rehearse it eight times. Most of my clients don’t have that kind of time, nor do they need to memorize the entire presentation unless they are giving something like a TED Talk. Even if you can run through your talk or presentation three times, you will feel much better about it.
Which of these five tips was useful for you? Which of these tips have you used successfully, or maybe haven’t worked as you’d hoped? Every individual is unique, and even each time you speak in public, it might be a little different. I’d love to hear from you.
Please share this with anyone who could benefit – thank you! And good luck with your stories and presentations!
Would you like individual coaching to write, prepare, or deliver your talk, presentation, or story? Schedule a free intro 1:1 session with me.