Do you identify with your work? Do you feel your inherent value or worth is entwined with what you do every day? If so, you are not alone; this is quite common. It’s also a house of cards on which to build your confidence and self-worth. So, in this final article about grounded confidence, we will explore the number one biggest mindset shift to unlock confidence – realize that you are not your work.
The Truth About Your Worth
Your inherent value and worth have absolutely nothing to do with work or anything else you do. Your inherent value and worth, in its essence, is fundamental. You are valuable and worthy as a part of life. No one can replace you in the universe. Your thoughts, words, and actions can and will evolve and change, but the core of you is whole and complete as it is.
You may already know this (and I hope you do), but if you do not, then this is a powerful exploration. Speaking from personal experience as well as for my clients, life gets so much easier when your sense of worth isn’t entangled with work.
The Costs of Entangling Your Worth With Work
When you think your inherent value or worth comes from work, everything you do takes on 10x emotional charge and significance. When this is the case for a leader, their direct reports often tell me that they don’t understand their intensity about certain issues or why certain things have so much emotional charge. In the worst cases, leaders create unnecessary conflict because of their subconscious insecurities or fears.
When you confuse your worth/value with work, you act out unconsciously in ways you don’t even realize. You will agonize and stress over things that don’t deserve that much energy. You end up pulling energy away from your highest priorities.
Identifying with work invites unnecessary vulnerability and anxiety. It adds excess pressure on an already intense and demanding job.
The Big Upgrade and Opportunity: Let work be work and you be you.
Why This Is Liberating
The first gift of disidentifying with work is that it gives you space; the space to breathe, the space to be. This space then affords you perspective, which catalyzes clarity and objectivity. This is priceless, but it doesn’t stop there.
When you begin to recognize that you are inherently worthy as a part of life, regardless of what you do, you realize that you are and will be ok no matter what happens. And this gives you resiliency. Resiliency is critical for leaders doing hard things, like starting companies, innovating new technologies, fighting climate change, managing big teams, etc. Knowing your inherent worth is one of the most enduring and sustainable ways to maintain resiliency.
Finally, with clarity, objectivity, and resiliency, you can make hard choices, embrace new challenges, and realize your true potential. That’s the fantastic paradox; disidentifying with your work can empower you to achieve more. One of the differences is that you won’t drag your ego through an emotional roller coaster to get there. You’ll still have emotions, but it won’t be nearly as painful and tumultuous as when you identify with your work.
Actions You Can Take To Make This Shift
Here are some activities to help you remember your true worth and separate your identity from work. These actions can broaden your perspective, help you step back, and orient you to something bigger than yourself and your daily life. They are most powerful when used consistently to prevent or minimize the cycle of forgetting and remembering.
- Meditate. It’s dedicated time to step back from your daily swirl, relax, and connect with something bigger than yourself. Over time, you will begin to identify with what’s bigger than you rather than what you do.
- Use Inquiry. Ask questions like, “What’s the absolute truth about my inherent worth and value?” Don’t just trust me; get curious and find out for yourself. You are equipped with a Wise Inner Authority that knows the truth. Your unique path to discovering the truth will be more powerful than words from any teacher.
- Spend extended time in nature. Some of the best insights happen in nature; it is the ultimate mirror and teacher. Most importantly, it connects you with a world bigger than you.
- Read meaningful books. Poetry, books about nature, spiritual books – anything that helps you reconnect to the forces bigger than you.
- Participate in meaningful rituals. The social act of participating in rituals can also connect you to what’s bigger than you and magnify the experience of it. This might include religious services, shared spiritual practices, or rituals you create in nature.
Whether this article affirms what you already know or cracks open new insight, I hope it supports you to ground in the wholeness that you are. I truly believe that our society needs the creativity, innovation, and gifts that you uniquely have to give. I hope this article is one source of support to help you realize your purpose and mission.
If you haven’t already, check out the first two articles in this Grounded Confidence series – “Reconciling Impostor Syndrome” and “Transcending Arrogance and Self-Dismissal.”
If you’d like to explore these topics more in a 1:1 session, schedule a session with me. New clients can start with a free 30-minute intro session.
Perfect timing to receive this article. I’ve been grappling with my lack of financial success in my chosen field as an artist. It had become quite painful for me to have this voice inside my head that was telling me that I am a failure. To move beyond that to realizing my inherent worth is liberating. Thank you.